"at this point its going to be hard for you to find someone to date that DOESNT have a child (or 2)"and unfortunately shes right.! now dont get me wrong i LOVE LOVE LOVE children and everything about them, im excited for my turn too be a mother.(in due time..) thats nnot where my hesitation in dating someone with a child comes, its not the children that turn me away, its the baby mamas...
i have friends; A LOT of friends that have children who aren't with the father of their children anymore. and i hear them say things like,
" he better not have ANYONE around MY child"
(as if they made that baby by themselves)
and stuff like"well if he dont want to be with me then im gonna make sure he cant be with anyone else, im going to make his & her life a living hell"
see my issue.?? and although these are my friends who say this and id never find myself in a situation where id be dating the father of their children, i know that my friends arent the only females that have these "make him as unhappy as he made me" intentions... but as i sat and mulled over what my mother said the longer i thought the more i began to realize how TRUE it was. and the more truth i felt in it, all i could hear screaming in my head was the word
S A C R I F I C E
because thats what id be doing if i was to date a man with a child, id be sacrificing myself, my feelings, and my happiness due to someone else and their "get me and ill get you back" mentality. so in that of course im asking "how is that fair" let alone how is it right.?? and the simple answer to the question is that is isnt right, and this behavior shouldnt be praised it should be reprimanded. its not fair to you because while youre "making his like a living hell" someone else may be on the sidelines trying to give you the entire world and them some... my daddy always used to say
"its not when people are watching do you need to be on your best behavior, its when you think nobody is looking that matters most"
